Emotions

I hide behind these walls,
each one darker then the next.
I can't get rid of them, they are me.
I don't know how to live without them.

All, I know is...wherever I look,
All I see is nothing but darkness.

The pits of hell surround me,
But, I don't care--no, not anymore.

I live each day in this world, just like the last.
I smile and pretend to be happy,
I laugh and pretend I can feel.

Truth is...I don't know how too.
What are emotions?

In all my years,
I've lost them all.
I'm as dead as the grass in the dead of winter.
My eyes as dark as those glossy doll eyes.

I've lived so long like this, that nothing matters.
I know I'm lonely but I've long since stopped feeling.
I can't recognize it.

Happiness, I don't know what that is.
Love, I have never known.
Joy, A vague emotion described in books.
Courage, excitement, pleasure, trust, satisfaction, optimism,
What are they?

It's been awhile, but I remember.
The negative, the depression,
the sadness, the fear, the hurt,
the pain, the helplessness, the worry,
the envy, the frustration, the rage, the disgust.

I was consumed by them, created by them.
The pessimistic relations making me who I am.

I no longer feel,
I live emotionless,
Wandering aimlessly.

Life isn't worth anything to me,
I'll die in the end.
I'll die alone.

Always on my own.